Treacherous

“I did not mind stepping out of the shadows, did not mind even being in the shadows to begin with, so long as he was with me.

I gripped him through each shuddering wave, savoring the weight of him, the feel of his skin, his strength.

For a while, only the rasp of our breathing filled the room.

And all around us, as if the world itself were indeed falling apart, stars rained down.

Bits of stardust glowed on his lips as he pulled away, as I stared up at him, breathless, while he smiled.”

The erotic realm 

The body is our original mother tongue, and for a lot of men it remains the only language for closeness that hasn’t been spoiled. Through sex, men can recapture the pure pleasure of connection without having to compress their hard to articulate needs into the prison of words.

A priceless smile or a well-time winked expresses more than words could. 

Bodies Speak, Too

Women's sexuality and intellect have never been integrated. Women's bodies were controlled, and their sexuality was contained. Femininity, associated with purity, sacrifice, and frailty, was a characteristic of the morally successful woman. Her evil twin, the whore, was the earthy, sensual, and lustful woman who had traded respectability for sexuality.

For many women, sex is the sum of all the anxieties and beliefs about shame and disgust. Many girls believe that they can be smart or pretty, but not both. They can be masculine or they can be feminine, but not both.

A woman can often see her body as a prison in which she feels confined, self-conscious, and self-critical. Together, a man has the unique opportunity to explore the tortuous conflicts between desire and denial, wanting and not having, gratification and repression.

Engage in fantasies, women—own your wanting. Maintain your sense of sensuality and step out of your head with abandonment and power.

Of course, nothing is scarier than a true loss of control in reality, but the point of fantasy is that it allows you to transcend the moral and psychological constraints of your everyday life. Play with power. Surrender control.

“But I gave myself again to that fire, threw myself into it, into him, and let myself burn.”

For men, understand that a woman's alienation from her body has nothing to do with you. This should ease your sense of rejection and anguish about being unable to please her. What is needed is to help the woman trust the sincerity of your interest in her and her body.

Intimate knowledge is about seeing and understanding each other's vulnerabilities and insecurities. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of being able to see beyond the surface level and truly comprehend the fears and weaknesses that lie within each individual.

I want you to know … ” His lips trembled, and I brushed away the tear that escaped down his cheek. “I want you to know,” I whispered, “that I am broken and healing, but every piece of my heart belongs to you.”

True eroticism has nothing to do with perfection or performance; it's about the willingness to be intimate and vulnerable.

Independence, Solitude, and Mystery

“I want to live first. I want to see things and have adventures. I want to learn what is it to be immortal.

I was a loosened, a top whirling around and around, and I didn’t know who I danced with or what they looked like, only that I had become the music and the fire and the night, and there was nothing that could slow me down.”

Solitude creates opportunity for self-reflection, personal growth, and a deeper understanding of our own desires and needs. This requires focus and allocation of time and energy towards the right goals and objectives to achieve success.

How Much Are You Willing to Grow?

“She's mine. And if any of you lay a hand on her, you lose that hand. And then lose your head. And once she is done killing you, then I'll grind your bones to dust.”

Your ability to compromise, be flexible, let go, set boundaries, and support your partner through changes is crucial. Whether I am happy in a relationship has a lot to do with myself and whether I am unbending or willing to allow my partner the time needed for growth and improvement.

What if you want to be everything for your partner but you’re a work in progress?

In dating, we often see the person as a finished product, ready for the purchase.

I'm not perfect yet. What do I do?

Work towards it. Be committed to progress. If you don’t believe you are ready or the person you want to be for your future relationship, continuously invest in and work hard on growing yourself. This way, your partner won't have to fear always being the one to carry and cultivate you in the relationship.

Part 3 coming soon…