Secrets of the Human Mind

Many people on our planet will live their entire lives without ever knowing how vulnerable they are to influence. The human brain has no firewall, and critical thinking can disappear in less than a second without the person noticing the shift has occurred.

Unraveling the Hidden Masters of the Human Mind

Authority, charisma, and composure act in many ways as a master key to the human mind.

To have true authority, you must possess certain social skills. This is because influence is who you are versus what people think.

Ask yourself:

• Why does a suit make us obedient?

• Why do most people wait to make the choice until someone else has?

• What’s the reason behind this behavior being programmed almost from birth?

• How often do you try to fit in with the group or trust the group's opinions more than your own?

Authority Signals

• Movement – The movement of the body can trigger obedience through deliberate, purposeful actions that lack indecision and reservation. People who are willing to step up and break from scripts and social norms will usually be the first to take charge and, as a result, be viewed with authority.

• Appearance – Appearance is a vital component. It involves everything from hygiene and how someone is dressed to physical appearance and gait.

• Confidence – The confidence displayed in movement and speech contributes greatly to how credible a person is perceived in a social setting. In emergencies, the confidence with which a person takes charge or breaks from a script will dictate whether others will follow suit.

• Connection/Attention – We are continually scanning how present someone is in a conversation. Leadership and authority figures have a knack for displaying undivided attention in conversation, and our minds pick up on how engaged someone is during a social interaction. In emergencies, a person’s perceived focus will dictate how likely others are to follow their actions or commands.

Our character—even when we think it’s hidden in public—is screaming from behind the curtain, and people can hear it.

Internal Traits of Authority Figures

• Confidence

• Discipline

• Leadership

• Gratitude

• Enjoyment

Confidence can be easily defined as having certainty of self. This means being certain of your own worth and trusting that outcomes will usually work out in your favor. When you believe in your own abilities or skills, you exude self-confidence. This triggers a social magnetism that you can see reflected in others.

Confidence never means being rude, obnoxious, distasteful, or otherwise acting like a jackass. Never forget that we rise by lifting others.

People who have low self-confidence typically have a few common traits:

• Trouble saying no

• Indecision and over-analysis of the decision-making process

• Difficulty spending time alone

• Seeking reassurance from the environment and their social circle

• Over-apologizing

• Fear of failure

• Putting others down or being overly critical

• Sensitivity to criticism

• Fear of being interrupted

• Fear of subordination

• Fear of public judgment

• Frequent worry or concern for their standing on a social ladder/identifying their position in a social hierarchy

How do you cultivate confidence?

Confidence is formed through repetition and control. It comes naturally when you achieve mastery over all aspects of your “mastery zones.” However, you can develop confidence before achieving mastery through deliberate practice. Practice creates a new self-belief in what you’re capable of.

From a Visual Perspective – What Confidence Looks Like to Others

• Erect, comfortable posture

• Head aligned with the pelvis

• A facial expression that exudes enjoyment

• Comfortable and relaxed arms, legs, hands, and fingers

• Slow, deliberate bodily movements

• Lowered, relaxed shoulders

• A comfortable tilt of the head or an openness to being physically vulnerable

• Relaxed, natural breathing

• A manner of walking that communicates certainty and conviction

• Movement that shows no reservation or hesitation

• Comfortable making physical contact with others during conversation

Confidence is hard to fake externally. Even when giving off the right nonverbal signals and physical movements, there will always be a part that doesn’t match or appear congruent to the perceptions of those you interact with.

Start letting go of outcomes today. Be confident that things will work out the way you would like them to, and you’ll be surprised how often it happens.

Confidence is NOT a personality trait. It is a skill.

Appearance matters – look confident.

The State of Calm – Enjoyment

Many people find themselves rushing to accomplish things, only to become overwhelmed and fall victim to competing tasks and priorities. If you were to identify a common trait among unsuccessful people, you would see that they tend to neglect the things that must be done, lacking calmness in their approach to projects and tasks.

People who suffer from stress or anxiety typically haven’t set themselves up for peaceful living. Success can be achieved through practice in your life.

Gratitude and Enjoyment

The psychological state of enjoyment might be the most magnetic quality that attracts us to other people. This quality lends itself to a charismatic appearance. People gravitate toward those who are genuinely enjoying themselves. The more you live in a state of enjoyment, the more persuasive you will become. Enjoyment attracts others while also boosting confidence.

Being in enjoyment means that you’re not dependent on external events for your happiness. Enjoyment boils down to perspective. When someone is able to “zoom out” and see the bigger picture of life, they can enjoy almost any activity they’re involved in.

Understanding Frame

A frame is the internal definition a person creates from a social interaction. The way you view the world is a frame.

The frame you have in social situations is composed of your past experiences, upbringing, beliefs, and self-image. Everyone views the world through frames at all times, and very few people are aware of or conscious of this throughout their day.

When two people meet, they each bring a frame to the situation. The person with the strongest frame will assume control over the meaning and context of the interaction.

When one person's beliefs and confidence levels are higher, their frame is unconsciously adopted by the other person. Although this may sound a bit Machiavellian, it happens unconsciously every day of your life.

Often people wrongly assume that they have to be dominant or authoritative to force their frame on others. This is a mistake. You don't have to assert or force your frame onto someone.

What Frame is NOT:

• Controlling

• Domineering

• Concerned with status

• Concerned with hierarchy

• Positioning for power

You should always politely ignore any power rituals and people attempting to challenge you. These attempts at frame subversion always come from a desire for status, which means their frame is rooted in insecurity instead of confidence.

Composure is the main ingredient in having a large frame. If you’re more comfortable than anyone in the room—if you can “out-comfort” anyone—you will have the largest frame.

The Roadblocks to Having Frame Control

• A fear of social judgment

• Fixation on how you're being perceived

• Deriving your identity, confidence, or self-worth from social feedback

Competitive vs. Collaborative

The competitive person is concerned with hierarchy, status, control, power, and social standing.

The collaborative person sees every interaction as a collaborative effort that elevates both parties.

The collaborative mindset is the leader's mindset. You’ll no doubt meet plenty of competitive people who will always view the world through that lens. When they meet a collaborative person, the collaborative frame wins. Once they see there is no threat of competition or status, the competitive person surrenders because they feel safe within your collaborative frame.

The leader frame is about composure and maturity—lifting others up and providing support. This frame assumes a confident authority with kindness and stillness in equal measure. It is largely unaffected by other frames and almost always assumes custody.