Did You Miss Me?

Activity without purpose is the drain to a life of fulfillment.

Focus is power.

One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.

How do you direct your focus?

Nothing gives us the ability to focus our thinking like questions. By asking better questions, you’ll get better answers and therefore better results.

“It’s not enough to be busy… The questions is, what are we busy about?” - Henry David Thoreau

In order to take our lives to the next level, we must realize that the same pattern of thinking that has gotten us to where we are now, will not get us to where we want to go.

Time is emotion. What’s a long time versus a short time? When you’re miserable, a minute feels like an eternity. When you’re having a great time, hours can feel like minutes.

One of the keys to effectively planning - and enjoying - your life is to have a laundry list or a “menu” of ways to feel good. We all deserve to have options we can choose from on a daily and make us excited for what’s to come.

MENU OF WAYS TO FEEL GOOD

• CRANK UP the music and move!

• Get some fresh air

• Stretch your body

• Listen to an uplifting podcast

• Take in a sunrise/sunset

• Enjoy a dinner out with friends

• Drink a tall glass of water

• Go for a walk outside

• Take 10 deep breaths

• Lift some weights

• Read something inspirational

• Take a day away from screens

• Practice yoga

• Take a scenic drive

• Draw, paint, or build something

• Smile

Time Targets: What is the focus of your life?

Where is the focus of your life?

Are you spending most of your time in the dimension of distraction or “the zone” - the area in which the greatest fulfillment resides?

The level of fulfillment that you will experience in life is directly related to “where” you spend your time. Most people experience a life of stress because they are addicted to the emotion of urgency - the phone rings and you experience the urgency of having to answer it, even though the conversation you’re having is much more important.

A life of fulfillment is one in which we put urgency in its place and remember that the ultimate target is to spend our lives doing the things we believe are most important to us.

1. THE ZONE: Very Important, But Not Urgent

If your goal is to create a life of fulfillment, you want to spend your life in what we call The Zone - a dimension in which your primary focus is on doing things that are very important, but not urgent. Some examples include:

• Spending time with loved ones

• Working on marketing or sales in your business - where your participation would create a competitive advantage in the marketplace, making yourself and your business stronger

• Reading

• Thinking

• Exercising

Urgency is an artificial and mechanical demand that must be disciplined. Imagine that when you’re doing the things that are most important you are in The Zone.

2. THE DIMENSION OF DEMAND: Urgent and Important

By contrast, in our lives there are always certain things that cannot be planned for that become urgent and important and must be dealt with immediately. Being proactive and anticipating things can help you to handle them before they become urgent.

3. THE DIMENSION OF DELUSION: Urgent, Not Important

This is an area where things are urgent but not important. People who are stressed spend most of their time in this zone, constantly making more “to-do” lists of all the things that have to be done. And just when they think they have a plan, they’re interrupted by the urgent demands of others around them to do things that really, if they were to stop and think, may create a sense of urgency but are not truly important in terms of achieving the most important outcomes of their personal or professional lives. People who spend most of their time here are doing exactly what the title implies, deluding themselves that they have to do all these crazy things that keep them from doing the more important and fulfilling things in their lives.

3. THE DIMENSION OF DISTRACTION: Not Urgent, Not Important

Finally, this is where most of us go when we’re stressed and we just want to do something that requires no thinking. Eating or scrolling on social media are perfect examples. If you spend too much time here, you’ll find yourself living in the domain we call “No Mans Land” - where you’re really not happy, but you’re not unhappy enough to do anything about it.

Control Model: Where do you spend your time?

The ultimate waste of time is to waste your thoughts, your focus, and your emotions feeling stressed about things you cannot control. Those who are fulfilled have one thing in common: when an event happens that affects their lives, they quickly discern: “Is this something I can control? Is this something I can influence? Or, is this something I cannot control or cannot influence?”

In life, almost all of us try to control the events around us. While we can influence many events and maybe control some, the only things you have absolute control over are yourself and your emotional response to whatever happens in life.

Controlling what things mean to you is the ultimate control you have and can give you a life of fulfillment.

You simply must learn to find an empowering meaning in anything that happens in your life.

How can you focus your energy on those things you can control and influence in order to create a life that is not only fulfilling for you but one in which you are contributing to others as well?

How quickly are you willing to let go of those things that are causing you to experience stress—those things that you can’t control?

Where focus goes, energy flows.