Know thyself.

Insecure

Think about it for a moment. When was the last time you felt insecure?

The interesting thing about insecurities is that if you do nothing about them, they continue to grow and get worse. If you ignore them and hope they will go away, unfortunately, they don’t.

A survey on men and women found that:

• Men were 35% more likely than women to have first been insecure about their personalities or abilities.

• Women were 68% more likely to first develop insecurities about their bodies.

Of those who responded:

• Women said that their insecurities came from external cues or other people’s comments.

• Men said their insecurities were self imposed (an inner critic).

Women

When we have an insecurity about our body image, what we’re learning is that what we hear, read, or see informs who we think we should be. If you are scrolling through TikTok, and that is your primary source of stimuli, the group-think bias will cause you to perceive yourself as inadequate if you do not look similar to the people you are viewing.

We cannot change from the inside out if we do not start with what we are viewing in our environment. External stimuli radically affect our perceptions. Your body is something that you are wearing on top of your consciousness. You absolutely need to take care of your body, but you have to realize, you are not your body.

Men

Our negative thoughts about our personalities or abilities most often come from the voice inside our heads—that inner critic that tells you that you are not enough. What do you do with that voice? You can’t ignore it; it will only get louder. That voice is showing you something that you may want to improve. It is a signal.

Let’s say you are at an event where a topic of conversation comes up that you are not familiar with. Everyone else seems to know a lot about it, and you feel ill-informed. In that moment, your internal voice is signaling that this might be a topic you need to become informed about.

Insecurities are not bad things. Insecurities are cues.

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.

When was the last time you did that? When was the last time you sat down and reflected on your abilities and qualities that you value about yourself?

You may not love yourself when you acknowledge these, but the more you notice these things, the more aware you become of who you are. Learn what your strengths are and work to cultivate them further.

This is how you detach from your body. When you realize that you have qualities and abilities external to your body that are valuable and can offer to others, you grow in self-confidence. Most women feel as if they only have their bodies to share with men. But if you were to truly value your qualities and abilities beyond your physical appearance, you would grow in self-confidence.

Self-Confidence Comes From Self-Competence

When you have a friend or family member who has high insecurities and you can’t understand why they aren’t confident, understand that they need to develop the skill or muscle to believe in themselves. You can help people build this skill by encouraging them to acknowledge their abilities or qualities that are their strengths.

Remember the ancient wisdom of the Oracle of Delphi: "Know thyself." Understanding and valuing your own strengths and abilities is not just crucial for your own confidence and growth, but it also enables you to help others cultivate the same skill. By knowing yourself, you set a foundation for genuine self-confidence and the ability to encourage and uplift those around you.