Into the Inferno

It’s about me rising to serve a mission, not the mission bowing down to match my limited strength or skillsets.

09/2/2022 Diary to Myself

“I did the things you would expect: I read all the self-help books.

I took psychology classes. I listened to the motivational audio programs and sought out mentors. I went to the personal development seminars, and I followed the formula they all espoused: I work hard. I am passionate. I focus on my strengths. I practice. I am grateful I’m on the journey.

And you know what? It worked. The advice changed my life.”

My Search For a Better Way

09/2/2024 Diary to Myself

Even while practicing all that basic good advice, I feel as if I have plateued. It is maddening. There's something frustrating about working hard, being passionate and grateful, and still not advancing, still not feeling it.

There's also something depleting about it all: excelling sometimes but feeling exhausted too often; having grit and getting paid but not feeling rewarded; being motivated but not creating real momentum; engaging with others but not really connecting; adding value, being passionate and grateful, and still not advancing, still not feeling it. That's not a vision of the life I desire.

Slowly, I have realized that I've had some success, but I am far from world-class, and I am not contributing at the level I desire, either.

I want an exacting plan for what I need to do every day, and in every new situation, so I can learn faster, contribute better and also enjoy the journey more.

I realize that the problem with the old formula for success: work hard; be passionate; focus on your strengths; practice a lot; stick to it; be grateful—is that so much of it is geared toward individual results and initial success. 

These things get you in the game and keep you in the game.

But what happens after you've gotten those first wins? 

What happens after you have earned those grades, found some passion, gotten that job or started that dream, developed some expertise, saved some money, fallen in love, built some momentum?

What helps when you want to become world-class, to lead, to create lasting impact beyond yourself?

• How can you generate the confidence you need to reach the next level of success?

• How can you joyfully sustain success over the long term?

• How can you inspire and empower others to do the same?

Sof… achievement is not your problem - alignment is.

If you're reading these words, then the odds are that achievement is not the issue.

You already know how to set goals, make checklists, knock off to-dos.

You care about excelling in your chosen field. But odds are, you're experiencing your fair share of stress and overwhelm. You can deliver, sure, but you'll learn something every achiever must discover: Just because people want to put things on your plate because you're good doesn't mean you should let them.

What’s achievable is not always what’s important. You have a lot of things you can do.

So the central question shifts from "How do I achieve more?" to "How would I like to live?"

I am interested in discovering how to get out of the soul-killing singular pursuit of external success for no other reason than achievement for achievement's sake. 

I am now focused on realigning my thoughts and behaviors so that I can experience growth, well-being, and fulfillment as I strive.

Certainty is the enemy of growth and high performance.

Too many people want certainty amid the chaos of this world.

But certainty is the fool's dream. Certainty ultimately blinds you, sets false or fixed limits, and creates "automatic" habits that become predictable bad thinking and openings for your competitors to surpass you.

Learn how to outgrow your youthful need for certainty and replace it with curiosity and genuine self-confidence.

Careful not to think that technology and your gadgets can replace wisdom.

We've been sold this alluring vision of a world where new gadgets will make us smarter, faster, and better. But many of us are beginning to see behind the hype. Tools cannot replace wisdom.

You can have all the gadgets in the world and dive deep into the"quantified self' movement, where every step, second of sleep, beat of your heart, and moment of your day is tracked, scored, gamified. But a lot of people are connected and tracking and remain alone and troubled. Too many are checking in to all the apps and stats and still losing touch with their real ambitions and soul.

Sof… trust that you can reach the next level of success more sanely, swiftly, and confidently than last time. There is a better way to live and lead, and all it requires is for you to spend the time learning it.

Give yourself permission to become extraordinary.

What holds you back?

I've found that I often feel undeserving or unready to rise to the next level. I sometimes question my value or await some external validation - such as a promotion, certification, award — before I feel as if I am capable of starting to play a bigger game.

This is wrong, of course.

I deserve extraordinary success just as much as anyone. And I don't need anyone's permission to start living life on my own terms. I just need a plan.

Sometimes, I feel guilty when people tell me things such as, "Why can't you just be happy with what you have?"

But I think they’re radically missing the point. You can be wildly happy with what you have and still strive to grow and contribute. 

Sof… don’t every let anyone discourage you from your ambition for a better life. Don't minimize yourself or your dreams for any reason. It's okay that you want more. Don't fear your new ambitions. 

Just understand how to reach for them with more focus, elegance, and satisfaction than you did last time.

Executable goals to focus on:

• the mindset I choose to adopt

• the focus I give to my passions, and the persistence I pursue them with

• the amount of practice I dedicate yourself to

• the way I understand and treat others

• the discipline and constancy with which I strive for my goals

• the way I bounce back from losses

• the amount of physical exercise I do to keep my brain and body fit and my overall well-being cared for

These goals are under my control and improve my performance.

Habits to always reassess and come back to in order to improve

Seek clarity. Generate energy. Raise necessity. Increase productivity. Develop influence. Demonstrate courage.

1. Seek clarity on who you want to be, how you want to interact with others, what you want, and what will bring you the greatest meaning.

As every project or major initiative begins, you ask questions such as:

• "What kind of person do I want to be while I'm doing this?"

• "How should I treat others?"

• "What are my intentions and objectives?"

• "What can I focus on that will bring me a sense of connection and fulfillment?”

2. Generate energy so that you can maintain focus, effort, and well-being.

3. Raise the necessity for exceptional performance. This means actively tapping into the reasons you absolutely must perform well. This necessity is based on a mix of your internal standards (e.g., your identity, beliefs, values, or expectations for excellence) and external demands (e.g., social obligations, competition, public commitments, deadlines).

It's about always knowing your why and stoking that fire all the time so you feel the needed drive or pressure to get at it.

4. Increase productivity in your primary field of interest.

5. Develop influence with those around you. It will make you better at getting people to believe in and support your efforrs and ambitions.

6.Demonstrate courage by expressing your ideas, taking bold action, and standing up for yourself and others, even in the face of fear, uncertainty, threat, or changing conditions. Courage is not an occasional act, but a trait of choice and will.

No matter how great a personality you have, how many supposed innate strengths you possess, how much money you have, how beautiful you are, how creative you are, what talents you've cultivated, or how brilliantly you've succeeded in the past—none of these things would mean much on their own.

Reaching the top doesn't come naturally to anyone. Regardless of what you are naturally good at, to rise higher you must go beyond what came naturally to you because the real world is full of uncertainty and ever-increasing demands for growth.

Effectiveness in life does not come from focusing on what is automatic, easy, or natural for us. Rather, it is the result of how we consciously strive to meet life's harder challenges that go beyond our comforts, and deliberately work to overcome our biases and preferences, so that we may understand, love, serve, and lead others.

If you have great ambitions to contribute extraordinary things, you'll have to grow and stretch far beyond what's natural to you and develop entirely new skill sets beyond what you find easy or what you "like to do." It should be common sense: If you really want to make your mark, you'll have to grow more to give more, and that won't feel easy or natural.