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- I didn't ask for your permission.
I didn't ask for your permission.
please and thank you.
Sofia Alonso Bauer
February 18, 2025
Granting Others Permission: The Hidden Power of Leadership
In sales, leadership, and life, your role isn’t just to provide information—it’s to provide permission.
When someone stands at the edge of a decision, whether it's making a purchase, changing a habit, or stepping into a new version of themselves, internal resistance almost always kicks in. Why? Because they lack the context to see what you see. Their fear, hesitation, or uncertainty stems from a perception that hasn’t yet shifted.
In sales, leadership, and life, your role isn’t just to provide information—it’s to provide permission.
When you grant someone permission, you remove their self-imposed barriers. You allow them to step into a new reality—one where change isn’t just possible, it’s inevitable.
But here’s the key: You can’t give what you don’t have. If you want to inspire action in others, your own level of internal permission has to be undeniable. Your certainty, your belief, your ability to stand firm in your own decisions—that is what makes others trust you enough to follow suit.
If you want to lead, sell, or influence, don’t just offer logic. Offer permission. And watch how quickly people step into a new version of themselves.
The Art of Influence: It’s Not About What You Say—It’s About Who You Become
If you want to influence yourself and others, don’t just change your actions—change how you see yourself in relation to the situation.
Influence isn’t about persuasion; it’s about embodiment. People aren’t moved by rehearsed scripts or clever marketing—they’re drawn to authenticity, to a presence that resonates with their values, desires, and dreams.
The Power of Context
Imagine walking into an ultra-luxury store filled with items far beyond your price range. You feel uncomfortable, out of place. Now, imagine I hand you a corporate platinum card and tell you to buy the most expensive briefcase in the store. Suddenly, your entire presence shifts. You walk with confidence. You move like you belong.
What changed? Your perception. The context shifted, and with it, your internal permission to feel at home in that environment.
Shift Your Identity
Ask yourself: Are you waiting for permission, or are you the one giving it?
If you want to influence yourself and others, don’t just change your actions—change how you see yourself in relation to the situation. The moment you give yourself full permission to act, lead, and own your space, the world will start responding to you differently.
How Those Around You Shape Your Reality—And Why Self-Permission is Power
Who you surround yourself with isn’t just important—it’s everything. Your closest relationships, whether it’s your board of directors or your life partner, don’t just influence you; they shape your perception, your decisions, and ultimately, your trajectory.
In relationships, a partner can grant you permission—helping you overcome fear, take bold action, or see yourself in a new light. Their validation can override your self-doubt, freeing you from the need to seek approval elsewhere.
Why? Because we are all highly suggestible to the energy, ideas, and perspectives of those we allow into our inner circle. In relationships, a partner can grant you permission—helping you overcome fear, take bold action, or see yourself in a new light. Their validation can override your self-doubt, freeing you from the need to seek approval elsewhere.
But here’s the key: while external permission can be empowering, relying on it is limiting.
The Ultimate Skill: Self-Permission
True freedom comes from developing the ability to grant yourself permission—internally, on demand, and without requiring external validation. This is the difference between being in control of your life versus being at the whim of your environment.
Yes, the people around you will always influence you. But the real power lies in training your mind to self-authorize action, confidence, and fearlessness—so that no one else dictates your context but you.
Ask yourself: Are you waiting for permission, or are you the one giving it?
Ask yourself: Are you waiting for permission, or are you the one giving it?
Understanding When You Are Most Susceptible to Influence
Influence isn’t just about persuasion—it’s about timing. There are moments in life when we become highly suggestible, more open to external forces shaping our thoughts, decisions, and identity.
There are moments in life when we become highly suggestible, more open to external forces shaping our thoughts, decisions, and identity.
Are you in a transitional stage of life? Uncertainty makes us seek guidance, belonging, or a clear path forward.
Are you lacking purpose? When life feels directionless, we naturally look for a person, philosophy, or system to provide meaning.
Do you crave being taken care of? Whether emotionally or physically, this need can make us more susceptible to individuals or groups promising security.
A need for validation – If validation is lacking, we seek it externally, often in places that may not serve us.
Uncertainty in identity – Those unsure of who they are tend to look outward for definition rather than inward for self-discovery.
A follower mindset – Some people naturally adapt to the authority in a room rather than leading themselves.
Seeking meaning – A deep desire for understanding or significance can lead to clinging onto ideas without questioning them.
History of social isolation – A lack of close friendships or community can make any source of connection feel irreplaceable.
External locus of control – If you see life as something that happens to you rather than something you shape, you may be more likely to follow rather than lead.
Low self-worth – Feeling small in the world makes external approval feel necessary for validation.
How to Leverage Human Needs to Influence Behavior in Marketing & Sales
Significance → The Desire to Stand Out
“The people who make the biggest impact are the ones willing to do what others are too afraid to try.”
Approval → The Need for Validation
“It’s sad how many people hold themselves back, waiting for some kind of permission before they let go and truly enjoy life.”
Acceptance → The Need to Belong
“People don’t realize that millions of others have chosen exactly what you want—and no one ever sees their doubts, only the confidence they present.”
Intelligence → The Desire to Think Independently
“Most people don’t think beyond the masses. They stick to what’s safe instead of doing what they really want.”
Pity → The Desire for a Redemption Arc
“So many people have been through so much in life and finally reach this moment where they stop caring about fitting in. They know what they want. You’re more open and excited than ever before.”
Strength → The Desire for Power & Freedom
“You always know when you meet those people who own their power. They’re open, confident, and completely free from what everyone else is doing. Strength is about doing exactly what makes you happy.”