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Game Over, I Win.
checkmate.
Sofia Alonso Bauer
August 12, 2024
If you want the secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus first on primary greatness of character.
Focus first on primary greatness of character.
We are not our thoughts. We are not our feelings. We are not our moods.
If you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it. If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathetic, consistent, loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy.
Act or be acted upon.
“Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.”
“Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.”
As human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.
If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.
Highly proactive people do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feelings.
“No one can hurt you without your consent.”
As human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.
You are what you are today because of the choices you made yesterday.
Of course, things can hurt us physically or economically and can cause pain. But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all.
In fact, our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well.
In fact, our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers.
Reactive language dictates your outcomes in life.
There’s a center of gravity that you come back to on a regular basis - primary emotions that control the quality of your life. By asking more empowering questions, we can expand and transform our emotional home that we choose to come back to.
There’s a center of gravity that you come back to on a regular basis - primary emotions that control the quality of your life.
OLD | NEW |
How can I take care of myself? | How can I appreciate myself even more at this moment? |
What are they thinking about me? | How can I appreciate and enjoy appreciation for who I am right now? |
How do I fix this? | How do I see even more divine beauty in the moment? |
Why do I always have to do everything? | How can I appreciate and experience even more love and joy in life? |
What’s wrong with me? | How can I be an even more empowering example of love and action in this moment? |
Why don’t I fit in? | How can I honor my strength and courage right now? |
Am I the best? | How can I appreciate and shine my magnificence right now? |
How can I do the right thing? | How can I reflect soul in this moment and show someone the purity of my intent through my actions? |
Is this costing me my freedom? | How can I be even more joyfully driven and contribute even more now? |
What are the dominant emotions that drive your life?
Positive Emotions in Relationships | Negative Emotions in Relationships |
Love Ecstasy Joy Fun Passion Excitement Fulfillment Satisfaction Bliss Connection Playfulness | Rejection Humiliation Loneliness Anger Devastation Embarrassment Unloved Depression Unwanted Frustrations Unworthy Indecisive Jealousy Uncertainty Fear Unappreciated |
Positive Emotions about Money | Negative Emotions about Money |
Security Achievement Significance Smart Success Contribution | Loser Stress Inadequate Failure Unworthy Insignificant Useless Inferior |
Positive Emotions About Your Physical Body | Negative Emotions About Your Physical Body |
Variety Sense of Control Love Self-Esteem Attraction Connection Significance Power Energy Strength | Undesirable Lack of self esteem Self hate Lack of energy Jealousy Out of control Unloved Fear of death Unattractive Anger Guilt |
Positive Emotions about Spirituality | Negative Emotions about Spirituality |
Connection Significance Joy Happiness Trust Being centered Faith Forgiveness Bliss Balance Oneness Accepting Wholeness Kindness Love Purpose Certainty Compassion Hope Higher Logic Fulfillment | Disconnected Emptiness Insignificance Amoral Loneliness No purpose Lack of direction |
It’s not the events that shape your life, that determine how you feel and act; rather it’s the way you interpret and evaluate your life experiences.
Rather it’s the way you interpret and evaluate your life experiences.
Emotion is why someone will run into a building and give their life for a stranger - the emotion to serve, which comes from a meaning that by giving my own life, I am more significant. Emotion is why someone devotes their life to their mission.
The meanings we create our of our experiences in life trigger the emotions we feel. Therefore, it’s our ability to create meanings that determines the quality of our lives. If you’re happy or sad, it’s based on the meaning you’ve created.
It’s based on the meaning you’ve created.
If you’re angry or blissful, it comes from meaning.
If you’re wounded or empowered, it’s the meaning.
The meanings you create and the emotions you feel as a result, are the twin forces that you alone control.
Meaning = Emotion and Emotion = Life