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Every Nerve Aflame

Every Nerve Aflame

let me seduce you...

Sofia Alonso Bauer
December 26, 2024

On social media, stimulation replaces intimacy. There is judgment everywhere and understanding nowhere.

On social media, stimulation replaces intimacy.

Do you think you have the ability to see someone deeply and make them feel truly seen?

To accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood?

You see, human beings need recognition as much as they need food and water. No crueler punishment can be devised than to overlook someone, to render them unimportant or invisible.

human beings need recognition as much as they need food and water

To be indifferent—that’s the essence of inhumanity.

To do that is to say: you don’t matter. You don’t exist.

On the other hand, there are few things as fulfilling as that sense of being seen and understood. I often ask people to tell me about times they’ve felt seen, and with glowing eyes, they share stories about pivotal moments in their lives.

They talk about a time when someone perceived a talent in them that they themselves hadn’t yet recognized. They talk about a time when somebody understood exactly what they needed during an exhausting moment—and stepped in, in just the right way, to lighten the load.

Seeing someone well is a powerfully creative act.

No one can fully appreciate their own beauty and strengths unless those things are mirrored back to them in the mind of another. There is something in being seen that brings forth growth.

If you shine the light of your attention on me, I blossom.

If you see the great potential in me, I will probably come to see great potential in myself.

If you can understand my frailties and sympathize with me when life treats me harshly, then I am more likely to find the strength to weather the storms of life.

The roots of resilience are to be found in the sense of being understood by, and existing in the mind and heart of, a loving, attuned, and self-possessed other.

In how you see me, I will learn myself there…

“To speak to her was to be seduced by an inverse charisma—a sense of being listened to with such intensity that you had to be your most honest, sharpest, and best self.”

It was the whole flowing of her being that I saw—the incandescence of her smile, the undercurrent of her insecurities, the rare flashes of fierceness, the vibrancy of her spirit. It was the lifts and harmonies of her music.

I wasn’t seeing pieces of her or having specific memories. What I saw, or felt I saw, was the wholeness of her. How her consciousness creates her reality.

It’s what happens when you’ve been with someone for a while, endured and delighted together, and slowly grown an intuitive sense for how that person feels and responds.

It might even be accurate to say that for a magical moment, I wasn’t seeing her—I was seeing from her.

Perhaps to really know another person, you have to have a glimmer of how they experience the world. To really know someone, you have to know how they know you.

This is seeing the richness of a particular human consciousness—the full symphony.

How they perceive and create their life.

Perhaps to really know another person, you have to have a glimmer of how they experience the world. To really know someone, you have to know how they know you.

It’s a delicious experience. It feels warm, intimate, and profound. It’s the bliss of human connection.

It’s truly sad that most of us have all sorts of inborn proclivities that prevent us from perceiving others accurately.

You will never know true respect.

Respect is a gift you offer with your eyes.

Respect is a gift you offer with your eyes.