Dear Diary 10/4/25,
Lately, I’ve been studying Dantes Inferno.
His Inferno isn’t just a story about hell, it’s a map of the human psyche.
A descent through our misaligned aims, our fears, our desires, all the ways our mind turns inward and becomes something darker.
Dante’s Inferno
It invites you to ask the following question:
Can I walk into the flames of my own mind, face the monster in the mirror (all my insecurities or triggers or areas of shame/self-disgust), and decide to conquer my biggest fears?
Can I keep moving forward, even when what I see inside myself is insecure, raw, and imperfect?
Am I willing to confront my biggest fears and insecurities to evolve and grow?
Dantes First Layer of Hell: Self-Awareness
For me, self-awareness is noticing myself.
It’s the practice of pausing in the middle of a reaction and asking: Why did that bother me so much? What part of me did that trigger?
It’s paying attention to the story I’m crafting in my own head.
It’s recognizing that the people and situations that trigger me most are almost always mirrors, reflecting something unresolved within me.
I’ve realized that without this awareness, my emotions become the ones steering the ship. They pull the strings. They decide how I show up. And I am tired of being run by feelings I don’t even understand.
Awareness loosens that grip. It doesn’t erase the emotion, but it gives me a choice.
Dantes Second Layer of Hell: Self-Management
Awareness is the first step, but management is the battlefield. Self management is what you choose to do with your emotions. It’s how you respond to your feelings and react to their presence.
It’s the choice to pause before reacting.
It’s resisting the temptation to sabotage myself with an impulsive decision.
It’s trading short-term comfort for long-term growth.
And the truth is, it’s hard. It’s unglamorous. It’s a muscle built slowly, through repetition and resistance. But over time, those little choices accumulate into something powerful: emotional mastery.
We each experience over 400 emotions every single day. That means we also have hundreds of opportunities to practice.
What I’m Working On
2025-2026 personal goals:
Questioning authority, rather than emotionally submitting to it by default.
Refusing to let lack of control spiral into fear, anxiety, or overwhelm.
Practicing discernment - learning who has earned my trust, instead of giving it away too easily.
The Voice Inside My Head
Here’s another truth I’ve had to confront: the way I talk to myself matters more than almost anything else.
Self-talk is the soundtrack playing beneath everything.
It’s the commentary that shapes how I interpret my failures, how I process setbacks, and how I decide whether I’m worthy of trying again.
I’ve started writing down my most persistent negative thoughts, and more often than not, they’re not rooted in reality. They’re distortions. Patterns. Loops I’ve been running for years.
Like:
“I always mess this up.”
“The past will repeat itself.”
“I only succeed if others approve of me.”
Remembering What Matters
There’s one last lesson I’m trying to hold close: to notice the small things again.
Somewhere along the way, we all get numb.
The simple joys, a warm patch of sunlight, a quiet morning, a deep breath that steadies you, begin to fade into the background. But these are the things that anchor us. They remind us that life is happening right now, not in some distant future when everything is “figured out.”
I don’t have all the answers. Honestly, I don’t even have most of them.
But I do know this: the discomfort is part of the process.
And if we can keep walking, eyes open, heart steady, through the fire of our own minds, we emerge with something far more valuable than control.
Emotional Self Regulation.