Always Begin With Everything Is My Fault

Always Begin With Everything Is My Fault

When you’re thinking about anything in life, the frame of reference you use on the situation will determine how you see it. Belief determines behavior and behavior is what matters. 

Getting the belief right - and getting the frame of reference right - will determine your behavior. 

Admit you don’t understand people and their expectations. Admit that you don’t understand yourself and your emotions. 

The richness of emotions - to be able to think before you react - starts with being aware of it. Don’t try and repress your emotions. The reason that you want to learn from your suffering is because if you DON’T then you will repeat your suffering. 

Standing On the Edge of Uncertainty 

You have the agency to change yourself and get a different result. Where did you go wrong and what can you do to not repeat the same action again? 

Explore the nuance - journal and understand yourself deeper. Learn to interpret and articulate your feelings. Experience life - you are never going to think your way towards knowing things. You only learn through action and reflection of how you feel afterwards. You almost have to hit rock bottom - to feel the emotions so deeply - to do the inner self-analysis.

Slow down. Take a deep breath and begin to interpret the feelings that your body is signaling to you. Develop the ability of pattern recognition and do not repeat the same mistake twice. 

Always begin with the phrase “everything is my fault.” 

What did I do wrong? 

Why am I feeling this way?

Am I projecting onto others? 

Understand that if you do something different in the future, you will receive a different outcome. The past does not dictate the future. You must take 100% ownership for every thing that occurs in your life. Do not become a victim of circumstance. Your life is a direct reflection of the choices you make. If you want it to be different, then you must change the choices you make in the future. If you know you did something that went wrong and you are the one to blame, accept it. The ability to accept things is also taking ownership over your decisions and your future choices. Roll with the punches. 

Do You Want Greatness For Yourself? 

When you are a baby you have something called an impulse voice - an inner voice that makes you an individual. It is the deepest sense of who you are; your primal desires. As you grow, this impulse voice is incredibly important to cultivate. If you never learn how to think for yourself, you will be easily influenced by the desires of others. 

The easiest way to cultivate an autonomous sense of who you are is by being raised in an environment that provides you the proper guidance on how to deal with situations throughout your life. If your environment was not engineered with the proper guidance, then learn to never see yourself as a victim of circumstance. Question your own frustrations, limitations, confusion, hurt, uncertainty. You are on an adventure in which you have to experience things that you’ve never had to experience before. Thought the act of making mistakes that do not align with your integrity, you learn how to change. 

You won’t be good in the beginning. You are a baby beginning to learn your impulse voice again. You have to be compassionate to yourself and be open to taking baby steps. Learn the ability to detach yourself from the situation with a degree of dispassion and say to yourself “This is what I really did. This is what really occurred here. These are the emotions I feel. This is what I will do in the future moving forward.” 

You have to choose to take action that is worthy of respect. If you are in a dark place where you are using negative reinforcement and punishment to move you forward, be cognizant of whether you are internalizing and viewing yourself as less than worthy. Acknowledge that you need to realign to your north star - define again what your true north is. 

What do you value?

Are you doing things in accordance with what you value? 

Are you meeting your human needs? 

Are you taking care of your biology (health, sleep, nutrition)? 

Serve other people and you will feel better. Acquire a set of skills that matter to you and help you become better. The accomplishment is what you’re after. The performance is your opportunity. You and you alone control your life. 

If you are honest to yourself about where you are and where you want to go, you can accomplish anything. What do you want badly enough to suffer for it? What price are you willing to pay to become the person you want to become? What do you want badly enough that you’re going to do whatever it takes? 

Through a cruel twist of fate, the only way for a human to truly become someone extraordinary is by suffering. The process of becoming is an active process of pain, wonderment, and beauty.

It’s going to hurt to acknowledge that you’re not yet who you want to be.

It’s going to hurt to acknowledge that you’re not yet capable of the things you want to be capable of.

It’s going to hurt to acknowledge that the things you think about yourself are actually true.

But when you can stare nakedly at your inadequacies - when you can stop protecting yourself with ego, you will learn from the failures and begin to build something new.

You’ve got to know what you want. You have to know exactly who you want to become. Start with accepting reality and then become obsessed with who you’re trying to become.